No clue.

2002-12-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

oops.
right, I was posting to the non-existant site,
you want stopbouncing.com

2002-10-08T15:14:00.000-04:00

he's my hero!!! it's his parents 25th anniversy today. I however, fully intended to pick something up yesterday, but the store was closed by the time I got there. He happens to be at the mall, and he's picked it up and placed the engraving order for me so I can pick it up on the way home. Reason #8742. via bloggerbot

2002-10-08T13:50:00.000-04:00

Testing 1 2 3
Okay, Um, I'm still working out kinks over at stopbouncing.com so, you can head over, but I promise nothing...

2002-10-04T12:45:00.000-04:00

MOVING ON UP!!!
Aw yeah.

I have registered some webspace and if'n you'd like to be alerted to the launch of stopbouncing.com , drop me a line at hammytrue@hotmail.com

2002-10-03T09:57:00.000-04:00

drastic measures
I have reduced myself to putting stickies on my pc clock and phone clock in hopes of making the day go quicker.
I am so clock watching today.

2002-10-02T15:57:00.000-04:00

riiiight
Should I be concerned that I keep smelling vanilla on my arms and hands, despite not wearing anything vanilla scented today?

2002-10-02T09:24:00.000-04:00

Cause for Celebration
After shopping for pants last night, I would like to announce the following.
In about a years time, I have gone from a size 14, to a size 10.
No fad diets, no starving, no shakes... just portioning and exercise.
I know someone out there is making a face about it taking a year, and only being a size 10, but I'll tell you what, I prolly have less of a chance of ballooning back up as I've taken my time to drop over 20 lbs.

Today is a good day.

2002-10-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

Memorial Service (in caps) and Directions (not in caps) (I'm feeling lazy) (I mean, I killed a centipede) (let me live it up) (Oh, what, you wanna come over here and say that?) (yeah, didn't think so)
Attention all employees . . . . .
there will be a memorial service for the slain centipede this morning at 10:00.
Cheering section, to the right...here's your airhorn and foam finger... one beer and one peanut pack per person.
Beer sales will be cut off half way through the memorial service.
ALL YE WHOM GATHER IN THIS MOST SACRED BREAK ROOM TO MARK THE SMOOSHING OF CENTIPEDE.
OH, FOR HE WAS A HAIRY CENTIPEDE, OH FOR HE HAD MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY CREEPY LITTLE LEGS.
YET, HE DIED A DIGNIFED DEATH, RUNNING UNTIL HE CAME THE VICTIM OF A 92 CENT RULER.

2002-10-01T10:46:00.000-04:00

Facilitating the Evil Look of Doom (tm)
Today is the first day of our dress code.
Previously, we could wear jeans and sneakers... now we're business casual.
Naturally, all the bosses are trying to encourage us by telling us how nice we look.
I walk into my boss' office and he starts in with the, "Wow, it's a new Stephan--" before I gave him The Evil Look of Doom, which caused him to physically recoil and say "whow".

I didn't mean it. I swear.

2002-09-30T14:47:00.000-04:00

song=memory
NP: Tonight Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins
Setting: First Date, sitting in his Blazer. It's about 4 AM. We've closed down Fridays and some local bar.
Scene Set up: We've just talked about how we should say goodbye; a handshake? a hug? (gasp) a kiss?
Deep down, I know this is something.
Something is happening.
This whole thing wasn't just some chance meeting.
I know that this isn't going to be our last date. I know that I'm not going to be able to pull a Swingers (waiting 3 days to call).
I am going to want to see this boy consistantly and in large blocks of time.
And when we decided to kiss, this song reached the pinacle "Toooooooooniiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhht, Tonight".

2002-09-30T10:30:00.000-04:00

freak.
Am I the only person who gets offened by junk mail?
"Watch your lover beg for me" it was titled... and I said (yes, to my PC), "NO! he's mine! Go away."

2002-09-27T16:19:00.000-04:00

Count the icky habits!
I was in rare form.
Dad was scrounging through the kitchen cabinets, knowing very well that I often buy frosting to eat, rather then to frost.
Him- why haven’t you eaten this one yet? It’s Funfetti!
Me- I haven’t? (grabs the frosting, pops the top, it’s open. I put the top back on and hand it back)
Him- Aren’t you supposed to refrigerate this?
Me- Prolly.
Him- (reading side of container) oh, the things on top are “candy bits”.
Me- Weeeee! Candy bits!
Him- (reading still)
Me- Candy bits!
Him- See! A-ha! There it is! Right here, very small and at the end… that’s not a very good place for that!
Me- I’m sure it’s fine.
Him- No Stephanie, it says right her-
Me- (grabbing the frosting again, popping the top. I jam a finger into the frosting and into my mouth)
Him- (runs over to sink, laughing an gagging)
Mom- ACK!
I stick my finger in my mouth, a huge glop of frosting sitting on my lip.
Me- YILCH! (running over to sink with my tongue out)

I thought frosting had a shelf life of forever.
It doesn’t.
It was a grainy sugary mess.
And this is coming from someone who eats kool-aid.

2002-09-27T13:30:00.000-04:00

life imitates art
I was walking out of the deli, when I overheard this converstaion:
".. funk that! I was like, if Darell wants to freak me over like that, then fark! I'll fook him over twice as f-ing hard; the mother fluffer!..."
(unless you've lost your sense of humor, take all the "F" words and replace them with THE "F" Word")
Now, it seemed to me, that this could have easily been a discussion amoungst friends regarding the verbage used in one of those new-fangled rap songs.
And I almost expected to see a group of big haired girls in hot pants, shaking what they have when not rubbing thier hands all over thier bodies, while a very decked out (yet somehow street legal) car pulls up with heavy tint and smoke pouring out the windows.

And who says I don't have an imagination.

2002-09-26T16:43:00.000-04:00

misleading
I'm sorry if I look like if you ask me the same question 4 times you'll get the answer you want.

2002-09-26T16:39:00.000-04:00

influential
Inspiried by michele's account, I concur that it was Weird Dream Night.
ahem.
I work in a Chinese food place, where my job is to make copies of Sister Machine Gun songs from floppy disc to Zip discs via this huge purple machine with a cracked plexi-glass window on it.
Well, I go wandering around, not realizing that the illegal copier is messing up until it’s too late. I have to leave to take my mom to the doctors office, so I assure my boss that I’ll have the whole thing fixed when I come back.
(now to the weird parts)
I take my hang glider from the locker room and proceed to fly home.
I don’t hit any trees, or power lines, but I come close.
And rather then people trying to shoot me out of the sky, they all point and look (a la Godzilla movies) saying nice things like, “Look at her parachute” and “that looks like fun!” and “look at her go!”
Even though it is dark out, I can see the brillant colors of my hang gilder above me.
I get about half way home, before I realize that my mom can’t fly, and I will have to go back to work and pick up my car… which oddly enough, wasn’t SilverCar (current vehicle), but Pascal (my green Saturn).
Anyways, so I get back to the mall (which is where the Chinese Food Place is) and I cant find the Chinese Food Place.
Giving up, I of course find it, get my keys and go to the car.
Boyfriend is in the car and we drive to my house.
He is acting weird so I ask him what’s happening… he asks me a question about our relationship, which is by no means warranted, as what he asked isn’t an issue. (I’m not going to get specific about what was said, that’s my business).
I suppose I get my mom to the Dr, cuz I’m back at the mall, and I’m now shopping… but all I’m buying are pink sweaters… despite needing pants.

2002-09-26T09:28:00.000-04:00

Nice Feeling #154
When they wake you up with a little kiss, and smile while watching you wake up.
And even though they say it every morning, you know that they really do want you to have a good day at work.

2002-09-25T08:20:00.000-04:00

It's not Tuesday is it?
It started off well enough… knowing that the alarm was set for people who have problems waking up on time.
Even after a long hot shower and not having to stumble over small pets, it was still going well.
Despite there not being a grocery store where I thought there was one, after getting turned around on crazy backstreets, it was still tolerable.
Added that I have no sense of direction, and it took me five minutes to get off the wrong direction highway and another 5 to get onto the correct direction highway, there wasn’t a big issue.
I got a decent parking spot, didn’t get oogled on the way in, showed up like, a half hour early to work…
Granted, I spend the last of my on-hand cash on dinner last night, which was supposed to be lunch, which is in the fridge, which I couldn’t have gone back and get seeing as I don’t have a key to the place where I stayed, and the snack machine doesn’t have anything besides a Super Glazed Bear Claw that resembles breakfast…
WHY DO I FEEL SO CRAPPY?!
listening to: Nine Inch Nails- down in it

2002-09-24T12:31:00.000-04:00

Uh oh
Last night I made veggie chili after not making it for quite some time.
Today, I began munching down on it, before stopping and thinking, "Why did I stop making this in the first place?".
I'm waiting for my tummy to protest. I'm giving it a half hour, if I feel okay, I'll finish it.
On the topic of taste...
me: it's not bad, unless you get a chunk of fake meat, then it's kinda germy.
them: I've heard enough. I'll see you 'round.

2002-09-24T09:44:00.000-04:00

notes
To that white Grand Am on the 190 this morning: putting your blinker on AFTER you swerve into my lane doesn't make it okay.
To the people/person who leave the empty pot on the burner, thus creating supergooey coffe in EVERY POT: you suck.
To those people who greet you by saying something stupid (I.E."you look tired" or "get some sun thise weekend?"): don't talk to me, you will only succeed in pissing me off, and really, it's not going to take much today.

2002-09-19T12:44:00.000-04:00

very odd
Tomorrow I'm going camping.
I know that I'll see him tomorrow.
Something inside of me is so giddy. Like it's halloween (my fave holiday) or Yule.
I can not wait to see him tomorrow. To hug him. To kiss him. To watch him smile.

Sometimes I think I'm the last romantic.

2002-09-19T08:50:00.000-04:00

"I love you, always have"
Yeah, so I stayed up past my bedtime and watched Braveheart last night.
There's something about those love/revenge movies that I just looooovee.
The Crow, True Romance, Braveheart...
This genre of movie, in my opinion, is the greatest kind of date movie.
The girls get the kissing, the romance and the guys get blood, decapitation and deciet.

2002-09-18T10:40:00.000-04:00

reason #47844
He knows that Math and I are not friends and do not get along.
I give Math information, Math is supposed to give me an answer... Math and I do not see eye to eye.
He is a math-smartie (and no, not one of those chocolate smarties they sell in Canada).
We spent a half hour on the phone last night, trying to dechiper a formula I could not get to work.
Of course he had the answer after I gave him all the numbers.
He sends me the formula, and the example in an email, so stupid me can cut and paste.
I love him.
And not just for his big brain... although, I keep threatening him, that when I get turned into a zombie, I'm knocking on his door first.

2002-09-16T09:38:00.000-04:00

Wake-up call
This episode: Dead Weight
(what can I say, I love Police Squad)

Preface: my dog is old. He’s got old thick toenails that he won’t let anyone cut. He likes to sleep, even though he gets up every couple of hours, walks about 3 feet and plops down again.
Boyfriend plugs in cell to charge it.
I don’t remember what I was dreaming about, but circumstances provided, I’m sure it was something wonderful.
I’m sleeping, prolly thinking about food or water, when I hear this odd, high pitched, noise.
I figure it’s a weird technicality of the dream and try to ignore it.
I guess I wasn’t the only one, because right around the same time that I got sick of the noise, he’s already up going, “what is that?”
I figure a bulb has come loose on the overhead fan and is rattling… he says it’s his phone.
I turn on the overhead light.
The phone isn’t where we left it… The dogs not right next to the bed…
Across the room is the dog. The phone charger is wrapped around his elbow, a couple of times.
I reach over; start to unknot it… the dog isn’t moving… he’s just laying there… I lift up his back to grab the phone and ask him (not expecting an answer), “Are you dead?”
His eyes aren’t moving, but I hear Thump-Thump as he wags his tail, obviously pleased that he was able to get attention at 1am.
For the record, the dog was chipper and ready to go out this morning, while I was ready to go back to bed.

2002-09-13T11:22:00.000-04:00

duh on you
A.K.A- Stellar Customer Service
vendor gives me a refernece number.
me: I don't have any record of that document number in my system.
vendor gives me a site ID.
me: There isn't anything coming up for that site, with that document number.
them: call was placed 9/16.
me: (under breath, "it's only the 13th, you moron").
them: oh, I mean 9/6.
me: I have nothing from that date, for that site, with that document number, in my system.
them: so what's that mean.
me: that this isn't my call.
them: then who's is it?
me: how should I know.

2002-09-13T10:45:00.000-04:00

ARGH!
WHAT IS SO F-ING HARD ABOUT MAKING F-ING COFFEE?!
FILTER
GROUNDS
POT
BURNER

DAMN YOU.

2002-09-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

inevitable
Name any day of the year and I’d say that the chances are high that I can’t tell you any detail about what I did or where I was.
There is one day that I remember so clear, that at times, I can’t believe its been a year.

I was working the 11a-8p shift, so when the radio alarm went off at 9:04 I thought, “That’s a sick fucking joke to play.” And hit the snooze button, hoping that in 6 minutes, some trite pop song would be playing and there would be hordes of angry callers saying, “Its not right to scare people like that!”.
On one count I was right, that “Fill me In” song was one, which, up to the moment was slightly tolerable.
Then, about a minute into the song, the station broke in to say that a second plane had hit the tower.
I was stunned.
From the announcers voice, I knew this wasn’t any type of prank, no matter how much I wished it was.
I was numb in the shower.
Former is from NYC so he was in more of a daze then I.
We drove into work, silent, listening to the radio, hoping that something would change.
Pulling into the garage, we heard about a collapse.
“It’s just the top right?” I said.
“Yeah, that’s what it sounds like.”
“I mean, the whole thing can’t fall down can it?”
“No, it has to be just the top.”
Parked the car, walked into the office.
Quiet.
There was a TV on in the back room, and you could hear the fear in the casters voices.
Then we found out, it wasn’t just the top.
I sat at my desk, the daze deepening.
I felt like I kept driving around a car accident… I knew that I should be working, shouldn’t keep looking at msn and watching airplanes going into buildings, but I couldn’t stop.
It had to be fake. It wasn’t happening. It had to be some bad nightmare, where in a few minutes, the radio would come on and I’d hear mindless drivel about the announcers kids.
The phones were quiet that day.
I had to call a tech in PA, near the field, and the woman was warbley, “I think we’re going to go home early today. Yeah, we’re going to go home now.” She said, monotone, robotic.
My parents were in Michigan, visiting my mom’s parents.
I finally got through on the cell phone, leaving a tearful, croaky message of, “Just wanted to let you know I love you.”

2002-09-09T11:48:00.000-04:00

obsess much?
Someone in the office smells faintly like car repair... part of me is optimist that it's the boyfriend, come out of work early, to convince my boss to let me out (paid even) for the afternoon where we will enjoy the confusing summer day.

I think I think too much.

2002-09-09T10:57:00.000-04:00

random thought
ever do something, and then wonder 'what the hell was I thinking?'.
Yeah.
Both counts.1) why the hell did I put up with it that long 2) why the hell did I go back to see how things are.
I've only proceeded to make myself angry.

2002-09-09T10:39:00.000-04:00

a moment of domestic-ism
Last night we, well he, grilled steaks (only slightly over done) and I attempted baked potatos (only slightly under done).
He seasoned the steaks, I pierced the potatos with a fork and in some magical moment, it was just us in the world, happily tolling away in the kitchen, opening patio doors and generally being quiet and helpful to each other.

I don't really think there was any point to this post, rather then doing nothing is sometimes wonderful.

2002-09-05T09:11:00.000-04:00

odd thought
What would I do if a group of angry gruel-craving-village-pillaging-maiden-stealing Vikings burst in through the back door/emergency exit?

-note to self: lay off coffee
(there's this back door/emergency exit on my floor. This door is never to be opened, as per the facilites people, as it never closes properly... not to mention that where I work isn't the safest so who knows who'd want to get in.)

2002-09-03T17:03:00.000-04:00

Q&A
I'm having to do my monday stuff today (which I only have half done so far) and my today stuff today, meanwhile, the boss' are "stephanie's doing this" "no, stephanies doing this" without actully asking stephanie what she's doing.
(answer: everything)

2002-09-03T13:20:00.000-04:00

I'm 3.2
Nifty test tells you how many planets would be needed if "we all lived like you."

pilfered from the booge

2002-09-03T11:43:00.000-04:00

Brighten someones Day
enjoy my flowers...
bouquet-y goodness
One of the Lillies
Possibly the same lilly

2002-09-03T11:29:00.000-04:00

Saturday Wrap-up
We decide it's a lovely day for boating and various watersports.
Boyfriends mom brought water skis, and boyfriend had the tow rope, so we loaded the boat with 20-somethings and headed out on the lake.
Boyfriend gets in the water, holds the rope, someone on the boat checked it's attachement to the boat-- all a go... boyfriends friend starts the boat up, boyfriend starts to wobble up, and there goes a ski!
So boyfriend lets go of the rope...and the boat let go of the rope... and in a twisted fury, the rope propels across the lake, where it promptly sunk.
Approximate Fun Time: 30 seconds.

2002-08-29T15:56:00.000-04:00

On the Fly
Okay, Joe asked me to write a story off the cuff.
them: i crave creativity, hammums
me: okay, give me a short senerio and i will produce a short story thereabout
them: ooooooooh. ummmm. i'll actually be serious. cuz i'm curious. a party of adventurers encounters a big mean lich. go to it
me: (what's a lich again?) (a wizard right?)
them: (a big mean undead wizard. like a skeleton guy who casts spells n' stuff)
me: undead, well in that case, I'm undead
them: you're a creaky?
them: no, i'm not dead, thus making me, undead
(anyways... the first piece of creativity on the No clue.)
Robbie passed the Doob to Mike. Mike took a monster hit, too big, and he coughed and expelled blue smoke everywhere.
"Dude", Rob said slower then he thought, "you wasted my bud, bud".
Mike waved his hands around and tried to take another hit... he only succeeded in covering the stubby joint with spittle.
Rob looked towards Mike, "you're ruining it man, hand it back over." Mike had kung-fu grip on the ever smallering joint and Rob hated seeing his paycheck go to waste.
Mike took another toke and picked up Rob's Skelator action figure. He blew the smoke in the toys face and coughed while he exhaled.
Mike threw the toy aside and fell back on the ground. He closed his eyes.
Rob did a face plant into the carpet and they guys sat there, drooling and murmuring.
Mike rolled over.
He poked the person next to him with his finger.
The person grumbled and rolled onto his side, back to Mike.
"Dood" Mike said. "Rob?"
There came a "huh?" from the other side of the room.
"Roooobbbbbbbbb" Mike said again.
Once again, the noise came from across the carpet, not as close as it should have.
Now, Mike was fucked up... but not so fucked up that he didn't know where noise came from.
Mike lifted his head... looked.... the person next to him was at least 8 feet tall, dressed in black and deep purple. Mike saw the guy had a shaved head, but it was grey... Mike thought the guy was dead, so Mike did the "agh! there's a dead guy on my foot" backwards crawl until he fell over Rob.
Rob didn't pay much mind, he was thinking of big heaving women smothering him with, well, that's not important.
The not-Rob rolled over, and Mike saw that he had no face, and he had no hair, in fact, he was a lich (being the un-dead, but not undead like alive, but undead like, dead and alive at the same time). Mike thought he was seeing things... he wasn't... there, in Robs Parents Basement, was, in full size, a very stoned lich.
Mike didn't know what to do and Rob didn't seem to care. Mike stood up, very slowly, and turned and ran towards the door, screaming like a girl.
Rob, on the other hand, passed the dutchy to the left hand side and the lich was very pleased. SO pleased in fact, that he let Rob keep his testicles.

2002-08-29T13:40:00.001-04:00

signs of life
So, my one friends has been odd as of late... not like herself.
I was going out to get lunch and I ran into her, at which point she states that the house is behind in production and they have to move out of thiers, but they dont' know where to go.

Sometimes, little things explain themselves.

2002-08-29T13:40:00.000-04:00

2002-08-29T09:59:00.000-04:00

fell right into that one...
I invited boyfriend out for dinner... he said he'd see how he felt, which in boy-speak means, "I don wanna".
So calls me last night, I ask him about meeting out, he says he doesn't really want to, but he invites me over... I had to go to Penny's anyways, so I figured what the hell.
I head over and he's downstairs, awake (the shock), and I flop over his middle (plus sign style) and he's grinning like a chesire cat.
I tell him that I got him sheets, if he wants them.. if not I'll take them (more idle conversation).
He tells me that he brought me something too... which I saw when I came in, but I never assume that anything is for me... he got me this stunning bouquet of lillies, and carnations and some other flowers I don't know in a vase, which is the color of the glasses we liked in Mexico (note to self, check to see if that was intentional).
"Did I miss something?" I ask.
"no."
"Is this because I'm so charming?!" I smile.
"Sure."
"Okay. What'd you do?"
"Nothing! I just wanted to be nice."
And you know very well that I can't leave flower in the car all day.
Girls, eat your heart out :)

2002-08-28T15:52:00.000-04:00

cue quirky theme music (a la Sex and the City)
Being the kind hearted person that I am, while cleaning the attic, I dumped all of formers things into a box.
Yesterday, I dropped off the last box.
I think formers hobby is to press buttons, and he did.
He brought a car.
I'm not dating him anymore, so it was my judgement to nod and smile and congratulate. Which I did.
I opened the door and dinged the elevator to his floor and opened his apartment door while he balanced the large heavy box witht he last of his belongings.
If you think this sounds nostalgic, you're wrong. It's not. Let me finish.
He opens the box, which the cats proceed to shred and eat.
He offers me a pop or something.
I decline.. I'm feeling uncomfortable, knowing his cats want to kill me and that he gets all cuddley with his current (who's not fond of me) here and... are those pillowcases over empty boxes to be used endtables? they are. There's an ash tray and some snuffed smokes in there.
Anyways, so he excuses himself for a moment, while he runs to the bathroom, he invites to to fiddle on his PC and to look at his DVD's... the PC bores me, having watched one all day and I basically twirl on the hardwood floors waiting to finish the conversation we never started.
I'm looking about, and I see some lined paper tacked up on the wall, I peer inside, and there's a cutesy little message inside.
The interresting part? He's using the same pet name and signatury on her notes that he used on me.
On one hand, I'm like "whatever" and on the other, it's like "how dare he! that's my name!" and on the other (shutup, I know there's only 2 hands), I'm like "If he wants to be non-original, let him".
I give him kudos for pulling the same stunt twice and getting away with it.

2002-08-28T12:40:00.000-04:00

tidbit
I think it's fun how certain songs or CD's take me back to a time in life.
Right now I'm listening to Interzone Mantras by Tea Party.
I got this CD last late November (during tough relationship time).
December I tried out for the Angels video and got rid of the tough relationship.. in the meantime, I made some awesome new friends and listened to this very CD on my way to see them (rather, him).
I hear it and imagine snow sticking to my windshield and wondering what the way over smells like in spring.

2002-08-28T09:25:00.000-04:00

heeee.
No sooner had I posted, then I started twirling my hair...
shoot, there I go again.

2002-08-28T09:24:00.000-04:00

Two words
(premise is to use just 2 words to describe the following)

You're thirsty: purified water
You're hungry: potato chips
You're lonely: imagine boyfriend
You're pissed off: clench teeth
You're restless: twirl hair

stolen from

2002-08-26T09:54:00.000-04:00

Campin Conversation
(from a conversation with a friend who was concerned that I would be gobbled up)
me: HALLLO! I'M NOT INSIDE A BEAR!
them: reeeeeeeeeeeally?
me: QUITE! I'M REALLY NOT EATTEN
them: wow. good for you :-)
me: THANKS! IT WASN'T HARD
them: they didn't show up?
me: NOPER... I HAD A NOTE AT MY CAMPSITE THOUGH, "DEER CAMPR, CAME 2 EET U, BUTT, U WRN'T HERRE. SEE U MONDAI AROUND 7AM... DA BEARS"... LUCKY FOR US, WE CHECKED OUT YESTERDAY!

2002-08-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

not blogging from inside a bear
or
"stupid city kids..."
We went camping.
Showed up on Friday night, to rain, to which we put up this monster tent (yippe, 2 people AND all our stuff fit inside).
Proceed to Drink.
One of the friends brought a 50 dollar bottle of tequilia. From what I hear, mine stayed down slightly longer then anyone elses... I wasn't ill until Saturday morning.
Awaken to rain and woozies.
Make it to bathroom... wonder what I ate/drank that would come up looking like it did.
Go back to bed.
Finally, everyone got up, and the guys played football while the boyfriend showed me around the park.
After lunch, we all went hiking. It seemed like a fun/good idea at the time.
AHAHAHHAHAHA.
Boyfriend (who I'm pretty sure was a gazille in a past life) picks the damn hardest trail. and that was just up. On the way down, we 'made our own trail' which consisted of sliding down the hill at a 45 degree angle.
At night, one of the friends insisted on listening to "I will survive" about 5 time, loud, at night, to which the park ranger, eager to get someone kicked out, came up our hill and called us ignorant.
And that was before she caught us on the closed road, looking for bears, I mean, deer *looks around*.
After all was said and done, we were packed and back up the state road at 10am on Sunday, which lead to afternoon napping and an early bedtime.
Tonight: soaking (again) in epsom salt.

2002-08-22T13:20:00.000-04:00

rebel yell
shhhhh!
today... rather then putting if(b1=b2,"yes","") into my spreadsheet.... I used if(b1=b2,"yup","nope").

Ah, the halairty.

2002-08-22T12:25:00.000-04:00

I love my mom!
me: so, like, I have to get some sandels... wanna come along?
her: sure. see you when you get home
(later)
her: well, I wanted to let you know that I'm getting my hair cut, but they can't get me in til 530.
me: you want me to wait?
her: yeah, it should only take a half hour.
me: okay (fake whining)
us: (tittering)
(30 seconds after previous conversation)
her: well, now the salon called, they can get me in earlier.
me: wee!
her: so I should be coming home as your candy ass is pulling down the street.
me: mom? did you just call me "candy ass"?
her: yeah.
me: um...
her: well, would you rather me call you "Taffy Ass"?
me: no...
her: well you were whining so much
me: doesn't mean you have to call me candy ass.

We're a special breed.

2002-08-22T09:52:00.000-04:00

thinking
So.
Very early this morning, the fire truck and an ambulence came down my street.
Niether one of them sped off in a hurry when they came back down the street.
I was loud making lunch/breakfast/coffee/cat food in hopes that my mom would wake up so I could tell her I love her.

2002-08-20T13:38:00.000-04:00

Two fur
You cry: in private
You shout: between ears
You laugh: almost everything
You sigh: when meloncoly
You smile: practically continiously
You grin: quite sheepishly
You frown: when necessary

2002-08-20T10:47:00.000-04:00

Inter-Office Memo That Should Exist
Coffee Drinkers:
Did you grow up in a cave?
Why are you so inconsiderate as to A) leave no coffee, just an empty pot on the burner B) leave not enough coffee, even for a warm up C) leave even less coffee then B on the burner, so it burns [the shock!] and stinks up our little building.
May I suggest the following?
On the table next to the coffee maker is a box of pre-measured grinds and fliters.
Pour out the milliter of coffee you would have left and make a new FUCKING POT.
Also, please don't finger all the stirrers, I know at least one of you women don't wash your hands after using the bathroom.

Thanks,
Other, Considerate, Coffee Drinkers

2002-08-19T17:37:00.000-04:00

I AM a nerd!
I just realized, that at the office, us "old schoolers" being those of us who have been here over 3 years, are ruining the bell curve of the office.
When I started, we had to be super efficient and good.. and we've kept that...
I'm ruining it for everyone else!

(yeee)(I think)

2002-08-19T13:13:00.000-04:00

monday mission
1. Many children have blankets, or a favorite nubby stuffed animal that they like to keep near them for security. Do you recall what you had for your "security blanket" as a child? When did you finally give it up? What brought that about?
Item: these baby towels that mom used on me... one had yellow trim, one had blue trim... I used them until they stopped absorbing and were basically paper-thin.
2. Now that you are a big kid, what do you have to give you that same sense of security?
boyfriend...
3. With a little over four months left in 2002, have you accomplished everything you wanted to for the year? Is there anything that you would like to accomplish before the year is over?
Eh, I don't really set goals... I'd rather be surprised... i have however lost about 15 lbs this year... I think that was a goal.
4. I don't know about you, but it seems to me children have it pretty good these days. Game systems, computers in the home, microwaves, cable TV, the internet, cell phones and pagers, they certainly have a wider variety of technology than most of us did as children. What modern convenience, if any, do you think it would be good for children today to do without? What would they gain?
I guess they can do without cell phones and pagers... well, maybe super-restricted useage there of... I had a pager in High School and when my physco ex broke up with me, he kept paging me all day. Quite distracing. Cell phones should be used in dire straits only.
5. Many of us have one thing in which we believe we excel. What do you do better than most?
Being emotional. That counts right?
6. In the United States, and possibly other countries, teenagers in High School usually wind up falling into several social circles or "cliques." Stoners, Rich Kids, Jocks, Cheerleaders, Band, Drama, Goths, and so on (though the names are probably different today). What High School "clique" did you find yourself in? Was it by choice or did it just happen? Did you look down on other groups? (Aw it's ok, it was/is High School, we all did dumb stuff)
I was a poetry geek... Every afternoon (yes, even Friday) my entourage and I would sit around and plot out the bi-annual poety journal and I started the readings in my high school (to last I heard, were still happening).
We lost a couple people due to egos, and I had to clean house, even though, I was allowed to come back and teach summer school...
7. (it begins) I have great news! I won the contest and we now have plane tickets to anywhere in the world. The bad news is we have to pick a place now and leave in the morning. I can't decide where to go, so you get to pick. Where should we go, and what is the first thing we should do when we get there?
We fly into Hethrow Airport and the first thing we do is buy a EuroPass... oh wait, that's MY dream.
BONUS: Must I beg you?
Yes, you worm.

2002-08-19T12:57:00.000-04:00

Who says I have attitude.... fucker.
them: Steph..... I need some assistance on a call....
me: YEAH, I BET YOU DO (eye roll)
them: and now that [someone] is gone and I can't reach [someone else] I don't know who to ask...
me: THAT WALL OVER THERE --> WILL LISTEN TO YOU
them: YOUR FULL of them today...........:-D
me: HOLD ON... NEED TO ADJUST MY MONITOR. HMMM, THE WALL DOESNT' SEEM TO CARE EITHER. I GUESS I HAVE TO LOOK AT THE CALL...

2002-08-19T11:08:00.000-04:00

Mondy scarring
hamster love
No... I don't necessarly mean "mommy I love hamsters!"...
just read...
and don't drink while doing so.

2002-08-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

I'm tired of repeating myself
I'm tired of repeating myself
so I hung this sign on my boss' door (see, I sit in front of her cube, thus, I must know everyplace she is, all the time. lies lies lies).

[boss' name] will be back Wednesday.
'Wednesday?' you say.
Yes, Wednesday.

This is every conversation I've had since she's been out.
Hopefully this will stop the conversations before they start.

2002-08-16T15:43:00.000-04:00

huh? what?
Ack.
The allergies are acting up again and my ear is all stuffy feeling.
And it kinda hurts... all of a sudden.
And it feels like I'm yelling.

2002-08-16T15:42:00.000-04:00

#4687
Am I the only one who is annoyed by the blogs (blastphomy) that are nothing but links?

Didn't think so.

2002-08-15T11:32:00.000-04:00

convo
me- (scrolling to bottom on webpage, reading radom bits) oh and Jesus Lives.. that's good.
them- wow, that could have ruined my morning.

2002-08-15T11:29:00.000-04:00

can't belive I forgot!!!
I meant to mention that on the aformentioned show...
All of the "stunt" people who demonstrated what to do, had black shirts with yellow writing that said "EXPERT".
Gee Dee I want one of those.
Hello "make a T-shirt" kisok in the mall.

2002-08-15T09:58:00.000-04:00

reality TV gone awry
Boyfriend and I were watching Worst Case Senerio last night.
At first, I was lead to belive that this was going to be a fine piece of informative television.
The first, oh, 7 minutes seemed to prove my theory.
After that though... oh my.
So, they had this "Face Off" with these two goobers they dropped in the jungle.
One of the guys fixed his machete and chopped a piece of bamboo in 3 pieces in record time.
"Geez", I say, trying to sound disappointed, "I was hoping to hold the machete-fixeing-and-bamboo-chopping record. I guess my dreams won't come true after all".
After that, there was a bit on a woman who was afraid of rats.
I mean, like, doing the hebbie-jeebie dance, afraid of rats.
These little screen pop up during the show, with what would be useful information if you were a complete idiot... IE, "rats may be found in (annoying noise) the garage (annoying noise) sewers (annoying noise) the basement of your house" and "reasons to enter a sewer (annoying noise) to save a child (annoying noise) to help an injured sewer worker (annoying noise) to get your keys".
Right, so back to the story.
The woman walks through a 600 foot sewer filled with lab rats.
Yes, lab rats.
Not big smelly, flea infested rats, but lab rats.
Enter more commericals.
They recap the rat woman, saying that she made it through the "gauntlet" of rats.
We snarked.
I keep thinking of lab rats with little maces and racks.
Anyways...
Then they cut back to the face-off and in true we-don't-have-60-minutes-of-footage style, they recap what you saw 7 minutes ago. And they do so again when the goobers enter the 3rd leg of the race.
I want that hour of my life back.

2002-08-15T09:28:00.000-04:00

all emotions wrapped up in one
yipee!
I'm going to see the Twinemen tonight.
They're the 2 remaining members of Morphine (kiss noise) and the girl that Orchestra Morphine toured with.
hmmmm!
I asked boyfriend to go, he said he'd see.
Booo!
Boy is a procrastinator and despite being coxed with free dinner and free tickets, I have a feeling he won't want to go.

Bah.

2002-08-14T13:18:00.000-04:00

it's not that I'm all emotional over my job...
I have something stuck in my eye (and no, mom, it's not my finger) and it's poking and making my eye drip...
not to mention that my allergies are acting up.

I *sniff sniff* want to thank the academy....

2002-08-14T12:43:00.000-04:00

I don't know what a cthulhu is, but I know that it likes to eat stuffed animals?

2002-08-13T14:41:00.000-04:00

Askew from the norm
Bored on lunch produces:

antler lighting.
That's right kids, make your own chandler out of the cartilage of a dead deer.

make a dijerido

check out NZ's wobbleboard team. um. yeah.

hooves to make. at home.

(shakes head)

2002-08-13T13:33:00.000-04:00

QUIZZICLE
Who is stephanie?

2002-08-13T11:46:00.000-04:00

sifting though old email
I found this.
Yup, I got cursed...
and those damn dolls are creepy as all get out.

Poke someone today!

2002-08-13T09:51:00.000-04:00

Really, I was going to be on-time...
I was actully EARLY(!)... so I decided to induldge and get some gas station coffee... (shut-up, to each his own).
Mind you, it's about 8 am...
I get my cappy and hop in line... one register open... guy in front of me has a 6 pack of tall OV's.
"Four ninny four", says the cashier.
The guy hands the cashier a wad of singles.
"Yeah", he adds, "Um, gimme one of those.. um... um... Bingo scratch offs."
"We don't have those.", yawns the cashier.
"Hmm... well... um..."
I can feel my coffee getting cold.
"Lemme have un of those.... um...."
PICK A GODDAMN TICKET I HAVE TO GET TO WORK! I screamed in my head.
"ummm, you gots any of those Crossword ones?"
Yawn from the cashier. "Yeah".
RIIIPPP
Finally the guy leaves.
"Ninney six cents."
I give her a dollar and walking out the door I said, "I don't need the pennies."

And that's why I was late.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

2002-08-12T11:13:00.000-04:00

SNIIIIIFFFFF
I used a new lotion today... I smell like a box of tissues.
Also, taking a stroll down coincidence lane, My fave perfume is called "Sexy" by BCBG and I brought boyfriend "Very Sexy" from Vicki's.

Hmmmm.

2002-08-12T09:57:00.000-04:00

1-You're at a restaurant with a friend, and he is in the restroom when the food arrives. There are french fries on his plate (or something else that you like). Do you take some before he comes back? If so, do you tell him?
"Dude, stole some of your nachos"
"But those were my nachos"
"and?"

2-That "I'll have what she's having" line from When Harry Met Sally: Inspired or tired? Sublime or asinine?
Um, silly and amusing.
You know that that woman will never make noises like that without pasta anyways.

3-You break it, you buy it? - or - You break it, you run away?
Depends what it is... a pen, no biggie... a plate... well...

4-Which sucks the most: emptying the dishwasher; putting away the groceries; folding the laundry?
Folding Laundry.
I have a big thing against that.
It's just going to get wrinkley anyways...
On that note, I don't fold my underware.

5-Anna Nicole Smith: "I still say the overinflated harlot has a pretty face" or "Face?"
Faces.
I couldn't sit though that damn show for 10 minutes.
Instead I watched Driven with Christina Agulieria.

6-You wake up before your "significant other" and see that the dog/cat/baby did his "business" in the middle of the living room floor. Do you sneak back into bed and pretend you didn't see it, knowing that your S.O. will be up in five minutes and thus take care of it?
There is no way in hell that boyfriend would pick up Buffys, um, stuff.
As well as he knows that there is no way that I would pick up after puppy... unless he arms stopped working.

7-Jan or Marcia?
Jan, all the way.

8-Cake: Eat with your hands or with a fork? (And don't tell me you don't eat cake, or I'll have to toss you into a windowless, dank basement along with the people who say they don't ever watch TV.)
Depends... if it's a midnight snack, I avoid messing dishes (and I drink right out of the carton... I'm the only one who drinks 1% anyways...).
If I'm at a party, or around people, I'll always use a fork.
When it comes with ice cream, I prefer a spoon (dooooork).

9-Name one article of clothing that you cannot live without and one you wouldn't be caught dead wearing.
Can't live without: underware. clean underware. wrinkely.
Won't be caught dead in: capris. ick. I mean, as a woman, aren't we supposed to avoid things that cut off at the calf?

10-Caffeine: friend or foe?
Bestest friend ever.
(raising Baryshnicow Coffee mug... it's got dancing cows on it... thanks mom)

11-Raisin Bran as a snack: Eat whatever comes out of the box, or root around for more raisins?
Should I be ashamed that I like bran flakes?

12-What's the best thing you've ever stolen from work? (If you think you've never taken anything, then where the hell did you get that nice Razorpoint pen with the company logo that you keep in the kitchen junk drawer?)
Post-its.

Shamless thiefed from because I say so

2002-08-10T15:47:00.000-04:00

thanks
I think I feel better getting that all out.

getting it all out to him is another carton of sardines.

2002-08-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

I just don't get it
See, I do this to myself all the time.
I bend freaking backwards and forwards over someone and I sit here and wonder why it seems like I love them more then they love me.
I don't get it.
I just don't get it.
This isn't how it's supposed to be.
And I'm sitting here, with my overactive imagination, wondering where I screwed up this time.
I can almost guarentee that I'm the only one (in this relationship) who feels this way.
And I hate bringing things like this up.
I'm scared.
I don't know what to do, but keeping it all inside is giving me horrid headaches.
I don't want to lose anything, but I don't like being unhappy either.

Why must guys be so confusing?
Is it a typical trait?
Is it something they get off on?
Is it that they can't do things on thier own, so they find excuses?
Does it make them feel all high and mighty?
I mean, really, what's it all about?

I wish I could stop exageratting in my head, or at least get some answers.

Stephanie, non-confrontational

2002-08-09T16:23:00.000-04:00

What's that smell?
I'm starting to wonder if I'm using my deoderant/anti-perspirent on the correct part of my arms...
I bet this is going to be another nice white shirt that'll get ruined...
boo.

2002-08-09T10:05:00.000-04:00

riddle me this:
happy to talk to me on the phone, eager for me to come over, then, like, irked that I'm around...
Um?
hallo?
WTF is up with that?

I'm hoping it's just that occasional burst of hormones that makes me hyper sensitive.

2002-08-09T09:05:00.000-04:00

nice.
I like when I call people, and then I hear that they're okay.
I missed talking to racecardriver, so I called, got the machine, and then got an email this am.
I'm very comforted that he is well.
(smile)

2002-08-08T15:02:00.000-04:00

Pedestrians
Last week I talked to your counters, the drivers.
Now that they seem to be less under control, what’s the worst that can happen with you?
First of all,
Right of way-
Now, many of you are lighter and less fast then my car. And the law says that you get the right of way.
Right of way does not mean right of way to be a complete fool in the street.
Just remember that because I stop for you, doesn’t mean that everyone else will too.
Crosswalks-
Don’t be a jerk and enter the scared crosswalk while the light is turning yellow and then stare at me while you do so.
I’d bet that you’re not the first person to stare at me today, and if you think that you’re “freaking me out” by doing so, you’re wrong.
You’re also lucky that I don’t have a temper and that I’m not as mean as I am in my head.
On the same note, “Cross on the green [meaning that you have the light, or in some cases, a small white walking man and a chirping noise], not inbetween.”
JayWalking-
See also: right of way and crosswalks
Just because you’re a pedestian, and automatically have the right of way, this does not give you permission to step into the street and cross where and when you want.

2002-08-08T10:41:00.000-04:00

Improperly Trained Animals are NEVER cute
Boyfriend is dog-sitting.
More specifically hell-on-4-legs-puppy-sitting and very-old-dog-sitting.
Puppy is 9 months old, Old Dog is 14 years old.
Old Dog may smell, but at least she doesn't eat my hair/scratch my arms/jump all the time/shred everything in reach.
Seeing as boyfriend is sitting, and the puppy "can't be left alone!", "why?", "she's afraid of the dark!", "(noise of frusteration)Oh yeah, this was worth the trip".
Puppy jumps on the bed.
Puppy jumps all over me.
Finally, Puppy gets off the bed and decides to groom, tinkling her collar.
Puppy finally has cleaned herself from head to toe and I fall asleep.
Dreaming... nice... sleeping.. good.
Awaken to licking on my elbow.
I think I made some kind of noise, as Puppy backed off.
Sleep... good... dreaming... wierd.
Puppy jumps on bed and wedges between boyfriend and I.
I think she threw out my back; ouch, I'm very sore.
Puppy jumps off bed and the alarm goes off.
I'll be damned if I'm cutting though the PuppyGarage.
Hell no.

See, Puppy is spotted like a cow and has 2 colored eyes, so yeah, she's cute.
"ELSIE! baaaaad dog!!! aww, look how cute you are."
No wonder she's horrid.

2002-08-07T11:33:00.000-04:00

I have this habit of swinging my foot in the air when my knees are croseed (checking visual to check consistancy of description). Today is a painful ankle day, and with every invisable tap-tap, there is a sickening crunchy/snapping noise coming from my ankle. yuk. I hope noone else can hear it. via blogbot

2002-08-07T11:13:00.000-04:00

please note:
If I've already said 'hallo' to you once today, I don't have to say 'hi' to you everytime we pass.

2002-08-07T11:02:00.000-04:00

Study #47 on the Effects of Conversation Before Coffee
them: Goot Mornink, Mein Frauline!
me: *hauls out accordian and tuba* "i don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me!"
them: Leiderhosen, I wanna see the leiderhosen!!!! (smiley)
me: yah, yah, let me gets dem dare. lessssee, cap wit da fedder... brew mug.... veest... clogs...
me: ah!
them: YAH!
me: dares da leiderhosen... next to da hummels
them: Next to da HUMMELS! KEWEL!
me: dis one, wit da bay-bees, dats my favorite
them: Ya nut!

2002-08-06T15:07:00.000-04:00

designer confusion
Well, I finally gave in and brought a pair of jeans from a well known name.
I won't disclose who, as I don't really want the affiliation, but let's just say that the label wants to be an american flag, but it's not.
Anyways, so I buy these jeans...
Try them on...
no biggie.
BUT
they have a snap button.
A FREAKING SNAP BUTTON!
Granted, I didn't pay full ticket price for these jeans (which retail about, 54 bucks) but the least they can do is not have a snap button.
I think I'll go back to paying less and feeling like an adult when I run the button though the loop.
Geez.

2002-08-05T09:43:00.000-04:00

just like a cartoon
Scene: stephanie tries to get from the jetski onto the boat.
Two feet on one side of ski
boyfriend on ski (properly)
2 hands on boat side
knee into line tie
back onto side of jet ski.. this motion pushes the ski from the boat... I now am streched across between the boat and the ski... I lose my grip...
SLOOSH!
gag.
thank goodness there wasn't a dead fishie floating by, I prolly would have puked.
And we know how attractive THAT is.

2002-08-05T09:39:00.000-04:00

reading is essential
Boyfriend, his friend and I had come off the water. Boyfriends mom was saying that we should all go out for pizza at this resturant (not like a pizzera, but it serves pizza... that's not important right now).
boyfriends friend: Gee, I don't really think I'm dressed for [said resturant]
me: wanna switch shirts?
BFF: (reading) stop by for a spell. You know, what that's okay...

2002-08-05T09:36:00.000-04:00

riddle me this
How can I spend the whole weekend with someone, and after I leave, just want to go right back?
Like 2 and a half days wasn't long enough?
Not to mention that I had a killer migrane this weekend and he was being a jerk (only some of the time).
I don't understand!!!

2002-08-02T14:57:00.000-04:00

Long overdue
I just backed-up all my blogging onto a floppy...
Now, to find my own domain!
(trumpets blare)

2002-08-01T09:24:00.000-04:00

could I be any ruder? Yeah...
It's common knowlage around my house that of all the family I dislike, my dad's sister (note the difference from "aunt") takes the cake.
Last time she saw me, I was 22... the time before that, 16. I stopped growing around 12 or so, and every {freaking} time she sees me, I still get "Wow, look at how big you are!"
(eye roll)
From a small time, she has always picked on me, making fun of my (now correted) speak impediment, the fact that I didn't understand what she meant when she said large words ("hey Steffy, are you and Mindy bosom buddies?", "I guess...", "hahahhaha!"), the fact that she calls me Steffy... I could go on for days.
Back to the matter at hand.
If/when I get engaged, and married, I don't want her at the wedding... however, I love her kids to death and I like her hubby.
'Why does this even come up?', you ask...
(phone rings)
me: yahllo?
EA (evil aunt, always seems like she's yelling): hi steffy!
me: yes?
EA: are you engaged?!
me: no.
EA: you're not!?
me: why would I be?
EA: you went to Mexico!
me: I know that.
EA: And you're not engaged?!
me: why would I be?
EA: well, that would be the place to do it! I was hoping for another wedding!
me: no. hold on. (holding phone down) dad. it's your sister. (hand off phone)

The "no" came out more as a, "no, there's not another wedding" then "you're sadly mistaken if you think you're coming to my wedding."
Besides, she basically only calls when she has a problem.
bah.

2002-08-01T08:59:00.000-04:00

TMI
using only two words, describe the following:
Your home: half remodelded
Your car: Ford Frustration :)
Your job: over exagarated
Your S.O: very confusing
Your Family: paternally annoying
Your Friends: quickly witty
The Internet: mind numbing
Television: time waster
Books: need more
Today: Not Tuesday

snagged from bears-cave.. who has kick-ass coding :)

2002-07-31T15:11:00.000-04:00

notes from the unathletic
"Wow, only 21 mores serves like that and they win the game"- me, watching boyfriend play volleyball

2002-07-31T09:41:00.001-04:00

*tap tap* Is this thing on?
Dear Other Drivers.
Today, I’d like to talk about Construction.
Here in Buffalo, there are 2 seasons: Winter, and, Construction.
This is Construction Season.
This should be nothing new to you, fellow driver, as I’m sure you didn’t just fall from the sky into your Olds… nor, did you move back from South Carolina.
Anyways.

Right Lane Closed
500 feet
-->

Please, tell me what part of this sign is not clear enough for you.
The DOT even put an arrow on the BRIGHT ORANGE sign to tell you go stay to the left.
On a related note, don’t pull out of the merged line and into the “I can’t read… why is there traffic? Oh yeah, and merging for me means squeezing in even though it means endangering the live of about 10 people” line. This may get you closer up in line, but it will piss off all the other people, who can read, and did merge, YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE.

*Ahem*

2002-07-31T09:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Drivers...
I’d like to comment on merging.
See, the lane is long, so you can MERGE into traffic.
Some of you seem to think that if you use the whole merge lane, you have an automatic right-of-way, regardless of the traffic surrounding you.
You are wrong and stupid.
Don’t merge into me because you have some expensive car and a lawyer.
Also, as I’ve mentioned before, you live here, you know that that merge lane on the 190 near the bank hasn’t gotten longer over night.
If there is no traffic in the other 3 lanes, go into one of them.
Don’t speed up and play Flying Eagles with me, I don’t want to drive into the pylon.

Thank you.

2002-07-30T15:49:00.000-04:00

Another Stupid...
"Sheriff Bob! you best get un down to Windy Acres! Those boys been drinking again, an they're talkin' all crazy."

For those of you too lazy to click:
2 guys argue over who's going to heaven and who's going to hell.
One guy takes a shot gun, sticks it in his mouth.
In what seems heroic, the other guy pulls the gun from his buddy's mouth... only to proclaim, "If you're going to shoot anyone, shoot me.".
So he did.

See people, there's no need to "chloroniate the gene pool" when things like this are happening.

2002-07-29T17:15:00.000-04:00

The Fine Art of: Cooking
me: i like melted cheese on toast.
them: grilled cheese :-)
me: melted cheese on toast, yes.
them: okay, so it's grilled cheese, but the bread is toasty.
me: grilled cheese? what is this, grilled cheese?
them: you take bread, 2 pieces, and you butter one side of each. put cheese in between.
me: there's bread involed in grilled cheese?
them: *gasp*
me: why don't they add that to the name?
them: ?
me: like, tuna noodle cassarole... you don't have to say "geez, i wonder what's in that?".
them: grilled cheese bread?
ne: ahhhh! so, you put the melted cheese in the bread. i seee.
them: no no
me: <-- being a pain
them: yeah that's you :-)
me: which, coincidently, is french for bread
them: okay so after the cheese is in the bread. you throw it on the frying pan. annnnnnnd you look at it every once in a while to see if it's toasty. then you flip it. and once it's done. THAT'S GRILLED CHEESE :-)
me: ohhhhhhh. i think i will make this "grilled cheese" concoction for dinner
them: oh wow. you're serious :-) . PUT SYRUP ON IT WHEN IT'S DONE
me: ew. no.
them: and that i'm serious about, i always eat em like that.
me: oh that's just nasty.

2002-07-29T12:25:00.000-04:00

sigh
Okay, I know I bitch a fair deal about my dad and some of the things he does that irks me.
Here's another.
When his friends are around, he gets on this high horse.
I'm actully embarrased to have MY friends around when his friends are.
He transforms from Cool Dad into Demening Dad... pointing out my flaws, saying things that aren't true (I.E. he told one of his friends, "... if she ever cleans out her cats litter box..." when I change the litter weekly and hunt for treasure every other day... Buffys box has only smelt once since she arrived.), showing off that I have a tattoo or am non-catholic...
For example:
him: so when can they (being my supposed to be godfather and his wife) meet the boyfriend?
me: there's a game tomorrow at 9 at the bay.
him: well, lets make reservations for 7.
me: okay. I'll let the boyfriend know.
him: so, are you going to call and make reservations?
me: no. i'm at work... trying to work.
him: oh, trying to work. whatever. fine, i'll make the reservations.
It's like, he's trying to prove to someone that he's got something on me.
It's fucking annoying and if I don't confront him, I know it's going to get fucking ugly.

Don't even get me started on the fact that he hardly ever calls me.

2002-07-29T10:15:00.000-04:00

status check!
me: so, the last time I saw you was Wendsday Morning right?
him (being boyfriend): yeah.. I think so.
me: so tell me... why does it feel like North Dakota* long ago?
him: um, cuz you're crazy?
me: that explains the voices in my head
(later)
him: you should come over.
me: it's not like you're around the corner (he's not... he lives 29.6 miles away).
him: sure I am, it's just a big corner.
me: yeah, it's called a LAKE.
(later still)
him: so I did something today.
me: ...
him: oh, you want to know what!?
me: you can't just tell me something like that then leave off!
him: well... one of those people from Discover card called today.
me: ...
him: they wanted to give me 1.9% for a transfer.
me: ...
him: and I told them that someone was offering me 0%.
me: ...
him: and they said that they would offer me 0% too
me: (yawn, thrilling) ...
him: so I tranferred over half the jet ski payments.
me: ...

Is it just me, or when someone says they did something, are you expecting a big great story? Maybe one with a point?

'So, Bob, what'd you do this weekend?' , 'Transferred my balance from Visa to Discover', (high fives all about)

* his trip to North Dalota was the longest we went without seeing each other; about 2 weeks... I got flowers :)

2002-07-29T09:53:00.000-04:00

problem
I love shoes.
I can't lie anymore about it.
I have a large number of shoes that I can't wear comfortably.
Basically, if it's got a heel, I can't wear it... I have flat feet...
So what do I do?
I get this great pair of shoes yesterday... and I try breaking them in at night, and now i'm wearing then, afraid that if I take them off, my feet will swell and I will never get these shoes back on.
I'm not prepared to make that sacrifice.
They're too cute...
Now, if I could only feel my toes.

2002-07-26T13:44:00.000-04:00

When you're too stoopid
Fat People Sue Fast Food.
God.
People are dumb.
In that case...
Stephanies List of Things To Sue:
The mall for making thier clothes so inticing to buy
Wegmans for making the coffee so tasty
The ocean for making all the fishes that get made into tasty sushi
IE for distracting me
Myself, for being such a dumbass for sueing things that are my own fault.

2002-07-26T09:47:00.000-04:00

ack
Very Preggers.
9 fetus'.
9.
Good God.
I can't imagine.
9.

I have to go...

2002-07-26T09:37:00.000-04:00

better story
"Naw, right done back yon forty-two, I's was the leader in the carrira pige-yon fight rings. Yeah, twas a hard job, and un of dem dare pige-yons done got tosseded right into my ankle yonder. And thats why every-a few months, I's need to wear this here ankle brace. (heartfelt yelling) YA DAMN PIGE-YONS! I'M GLAD YUR EXTINCTED!!!! (shaking fist at the sky)"
but
I'm a clusterfuck and fell down a flight of stairs, 7 years ago, and screwed up my achelies tendon. When it's humid, I hurt. And that's why I wear an ankle brace.

Stop staring.

2002-07-25T17:12:00.000-04:00

Sounding like my mom
My boss emerges from her cube, in a peachish/orangeish/pinkish shirt and green/beige/tan shorts.
me: um
her: what?!
me: did you know that you were going to wear those shorts this morning?
her: why?
me: well....
her: does it not match?
me: well, I am by no means a fashion guru... [note: my idea is fashion is "Is it clean? Not conflicting patterns?"]
her: really?
me: maybe you should go ask someone else. Someone more savvy...
her: LIKE WHO?!

Now I hear her going across the office asking people if it matches...
It's 4 to 1, for not matching.

2002-07-25T11:46:00.000-04:00

CAPPY: ODE TO BLIZZARDS
WHEN YOU WANT A COOLISH TREAT, ONE TO HELP YOU BEAT THE HEAT, BUT YOU'RE MILES AWAY FROM A SEVEN ELEVEN, LET ME TELL YOU OF THE CONCOCTION FROM HEAVEN.
IT'S CALLED A BLIZZARD, BLIZZARD, ONE OF A KIND.. IT'LL STEAL YOUR HEART AND FREEZE YOUR MIND.
YOU CAN HAVE IT WITH CUSTARD OR WITH ICE CREAM, YOU CAN HAVE IT WITH NERDS, OR WITH A HEATH.
BUT ONE THINGS FOR SURE, THEY SURE ARE TASTY.

eat your heart out Snapple Guy

2002-07-23T14:26:00.000-04:00

first the families, then the mexicans....
"Hi this is Tom* from Tuxedo Junction. I wanted to verify the tux styles one last time before the wedding, so please call me at 555-1212 and we can set up some time or do it over the phone.

FOR THE LAST TIME!
I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED!!!

*not his real name.
I just thought that was always so hokey, so I wanted to do it too.

2002-07-23T13:25:00.000-04:00

another landmark gone...
For those of you who have seen Buffalo '66, the diner that Billy walks into (with the blue and white awning) was torn down yesterday.
I drove past that everyday...
It's wierd to not see it there.